SCRAWLING TOWARD IMMORTALITY

The other day a friend alluded to the “proverbial napkin” on which a celebrity had jotted a note to someone. This got me speculating . . .

Surely, celebrities don’t rely on chance to find suitable napkins for jotting down their legendary communications in moments of spontaneous genius. To begin with, most run-of-the-(paper)-mill napkins are probably not adequate for supporting the bold, charismatic script of your average celebrity without blotting or tearing. And how many ordinary napkins can be expected to have the longevity that is required by the demands of immortality? No, I realized, celebrities must order special “celebrity napkins” from a niche supplier. I imagine these napkins are available in a choice of standard sizes (cocktail or dinner) and are precision engineered to function as permanent stationery.


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Copyright © Jonathan Caws-Elwitt. This page revised February 12, 2009.