Does your office have a professional sneeze-response system?

If not, perhaps it’s time you considered getting in touch with CONSOLIDATED GESUNDHEIT.

The staff of CONSOLIDATED GESUNDHEIT are not medical professionals, and are not qualified to treat sneezing that is caused by viral infection or allergic reactions.

But for all the miscellaneous, casual sneezing that takes place in the workaday world, the staff of CONSOLIDATED GESUNDHEIT have been leading the industry in restructuring thousands of firms’ gesundheit profiles, and they’re ready to meet your sneeze-response needs, too.

Just think—no longer will you and your coworkers have to take time out of your busy schedules to say “gesundheit” to one another. That’s our job. Just dial the phone, and within seconds a skilled gesundheit technician will transmit an expert “gesundheit” to you through the miracle of fiber optics.

Our rates can be applied on either a monthly or per-gesundheit schedule, to suit your convenience. And right now we’re offering the first 10 gesundheits at no charge to all our new customers.

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Copyright © Jonathan Caws-Elwitt. This page revised February 12, 2009.