AT THE AUTO DEALERSHIP
 

AUTO SALESPERSON: May I help you?

CUSTOMER: Well, not really.

SALESPERSON: Okay.

CUSTOMER: I mean, I’m just looking.

SALESPERSON: Yep, that’s fine.

CUSTOMER: That is, I’m not planning to buy a car today.

SALESPERSON: I understand.

CUSTOMER: At least, I don’t think I’m going to buy a car today. Well, suppose I wanted to buy a car today—what would you recommend?

SALESPERSON: Well, uh ... how much are you expecting to spend?

CUSTOMER: Gee, I really hadn’t given it much thought. I hadn’t really planned on buying a car today, you know. Hmm ... let’s say 79 cents.

SALESPERSON: For a car?

CUSTOMER: Not a four-door, of course.

SALESPERSON: I’m afraid I’d have a little trouble finding a car to recommend in that price range.

CUSTOMER: It’s funny, I had the same problem over at the school-bus dealership.

SALESPERSON: Tell me, did you actually want a school bus?

CUSTOMER: No, I actually wanted an avocado.

SALESPERSON: An avocado?

CUSTOMER: You wouldn’t expect me to make guacamole with a school bus, would you?

SALESPERSON: No, but—

CUSTOMER: I mean, where would I find a paper bag big enough to get it to ripen properly?


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Copyright © Jonathan Caws-Elwitt. This page revised February 14, 2009.