AT THE AUTO DEALERSHIP
AUTO SALESPERSON: May I help you?
CUSTOMER: Well, not really.
CUSTOMER: I mean, I’m just looking.
SALESPERSON: Yep, that’s fine.
CUSTOMER: That is, I’m not planning to buy a car today.
SALESPERSON: I understand.
CUSTOMER: At least, I don’t think I’m going to buy a car today. Well, suppose I wanted to buy a car today—what would you recommend?
SALESPERSON: Well, uh ... how much are you expecting to spend?
CUSTOMER: Gee, I really hadn’t given it much thought. I hadn’t really planned on buying a car today, you know. Hmm ... let’s say 79 cents.
SALESPERSON: For a car?
CUSTOMER: Not a four-door, of course.
SALESPERSON: I’m afraid I’d have a little trouble finding a car to recommend in that price range.
CUSTOMER: It’s funny, I had the same problem over at the school-bus dealership.
SALESPERSON: Tell me, did you actually want a school bus?
CUSTOMER: No, I actually wanted an avocado.
SALESPERSON: An avocado?
CUSTOMER: You wouldn’t expect me to make guacamole with a school bus, would you?
SALESPERSON: No, but—
CUSTOMER: I mean, where would I find a paper bag big enough to get it to ripen properly?
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Copyright © Jonathan Caws-Elwitt. This page revised February 14, 2009.